While I would not say that I am a childhood victim of abuse and neglect, I am no less effected by it. I can tell you that being the adoptive parent of children with this history has certainly effected me in adulthood. Abuse and neglect in early childhood has had a profound impact on my children's abilities to connect with me, their primary caregiver. They have behavior that is dysfunctional, unsafe and embarrassing. Can you imagine having children in your home who do not know how to love or accept love (you probably do if you have ever lived with a teenager!). I have had to make decisions that no other 23 0r 27 year old I know has ever had to make. By the time I was 26 years old, I already had 5 children and worked a full time job.
I think that in the field of social work, I hope to help individuals who have been victims of abuse and neglect. Their immediate family members need help too! Being involved in high stress situations can bring an additional form of trauma to a family. A mother who is raising a bipolar teen will need help too! These family members may be so focused on getting care for their loved one, that they forget to attend to their mental health needs. Our mock psychosocial assessment this week brought to light how there are issues that effect other family members. While the son was the one who seemed to have the presenting problem, it was evident that the mother had some needs as well. A holistic approach appears to be beneficial.
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Being a victim of childhood abuse and neglect has impacted me in a negative way. Sometimes I feel as if I am just a snipet of a whole person. I do love my children but I have my limits on ways to express the way that I feel about them. I take care of them, their immediate needs but I can tell that something else is missing. I may never figure out what that is but I do promise to do my best. I can empathize with your children's inability to receive love because it may be difficult for them to understand how to receive it. Its hard and believe me its equally confusing to them. Christina you appear to be a great mother, so I am sure that you will reach that part of your children before its too late. I am still learning to express my real feelings.
I so admire your dedication to your children. I can barely take care of myself and my dog. It is very important that you take care of your mental health. If you are not happy and healthy, taking care of your children will be even more difficult and the children will pick up on your unhappiness. Of course, that is easier said then done. I don't know how much support you have but if you can set aside time every week that is just for you I think it would benefit your entire family.
Good luck!
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