I have spent the last 4 years parenting a child with an attachment disorder. The first two years we didn't have a correct diagnosis and my parenting skills actually made his condition much worse. Those years were pure hell for my family - all of us. But two years ago things took a dramatic turn. It was so very hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I don't think back then I could see the light. Two people knew he could get better and I chose to trust them. They were my lifeline in more ways that anyone could ever imagine. My son and I have spent the last two years working our tails off. But let me tell you the one factor that I think is the reason why we are about to start a new chapter in this story - MY REACTIVE ATTACHMENT CHILD WANTED TO GET BETTER. He has been the most inspirational individual who has impacted my life. I know that God has such a special plan for him. My sweet baby is about to start going to school again (slowly) after almost 3 years of being on the homebound program.
I have made some really stupid mistakes in the parenting of RAD kids, some because I was ignorant, some because I was stubborn and some because I was lazy. But I think somewhere along the way, I did some things right. By child is about to embark on a new journey that he has worked so hard for.
Attachment and bonding is in my opinion one of the most important aspects of early childhood. The effects of foster care and neglect should not be underestimated.
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Thursday, November 6, 2008
I never thought I wanted a tattoo, but maybe if my forehead read " I hate stupid people", I would be spared so much trouble
As in some other blogs, I am prefacing this by stating that if you are a social worker or any other professional who is easily offended, turn back now.
I have had some very interesting conversations this week. First of all, I was supposed to have an IEP for one of my children. However, the school obviously didn't know the rights of a parent of a special education student (although, they hand out Sp. Ed. Rights to parents at each meeting). They didn't know that the rights afforded to me were in the Alabama Code. So needless to say, no IEP.
Alabama Administrative Code § 290-8-9-.05(3)(b)
“Not less than one regular education teacher of the child if the child is, or may be participating in the regular education environment. The regular education teacher must, to the extent appropriate, participate in the development, review, and revision of the child’s IEP, including assisting in the determination of appropriate positive behavioral interventions and supports and other strategies for the child and the determination of supplementary aids and services, program modifications, and supports for school personnel.”
“a member of the IEP Team, as listed in (3)(b) through (e) above, may be excused from attending an IEP Team meeting, in whole or in part, when the meeting involves a modification to or discussion of the member's area of the curriculum or related services, if the parent, in writing, and the public agency consent to the excusal; and the member submits, in writing to the parent and the IEP Team, input into the development of the IEP prior to obtaining consent from the parent for the excusal of the required IEP Team member.”
Ala. Admin. Code § 290-8-9-.05(4)(b).
Had I had the personality of a sweet, calm, easy-going woman, my life would be so much easier. I see parents all the time who just have that "oh, it will be alright" attitude. Some days I wish that were me. But it's not, and so it is. I am once again the pain in the butt parent (Kristin - I know you know what I mean) who isn't satisfied. Please God, start putting smarter people in my path, LOL. I am going to have PTSD by the time I get my kids graduate from the public school system.
But lets move on. I actually had a conversation this week with a lovely woman who is in a position to make a difference in the life of another. But I can tell you now; she wont. Not because she doesnt care or she isnt concerned, but because it isnt enough to MOVE her. There are some like that. Lets always be moved to help our clients.
I just want to say that in the field of social work, or any field that involves working with other humans, we are going to come across stupid people ( I use that term loosely - rude, lazy, ignorant could all fit the bill). It will take effort to MOVE. My greatest weakness and greatest strength is one in the same. I am either hot or cold. I either am not concerned or I am intensely passionate on an issue. I am learning that lukewarm works well in some situations.
For those of you who have actually read this blog in its entirety - Thanks!! But I do have another question that I would love to have your feedback on.
"Do you think that a social worker can be accepting of a belief(s) professionally and that believe be something they disagree with on a personal level? Are they one in the same or can they be kept seperate. Let me know your thoughts."
I have had some very interesting conversations this week. First of all, I was supposed to have an IEP for one of my children. However, the school obviously didn't know the rights of a parent of a special education student (although, they hand out Sp. Ed. Rights to parents at each meeting). They didn't know that the rights afforded to me were in the Alabama Code. So needless to say, no IEP.
Alabama Administrative Code § 290-8-9-.05(3)(b)
“Not less than one regular education teacher of the child if the child is, or may be participating in the regular education environment. The regular education teacher must, to the extent appropriate, participate in the development, review, and revision of the child’s IEP, including assisting in the determination of appropriate positive behavioral interventions and supports and other strategies for the child and the determination of supplementary aids and services, program modifications, and supports for school personnel.”
“a member of the IEP Team, as listed in (3)(b) through (e) above, may be excused from attending an IEP Team meeting, in whole or in part, when the meeting involves a modification to or discussion of the member's area of the curriculum or related services, if the parent, in writing, and the public agency consent to the excusal; and the member submits, in writing to the parent and the IEP Team, input into the development of the IEP prior to obtaining consent from the parent for the excusal of the required IEP Team member.”
Ala. Admin. Code § 290-8-9-.05(4)(b).
Had I had the personality of a sweet, calm, easy-going woman, my life would be so much easier. I see parents all the time who just have that "oh, it will be alright" attitude. Some days I wish that were me. But it's not, and so it is. I am once again the pain in the butt parent (Kristin - I know you know what I mean) who isn't satisfied. Please God, start putting smarter people in my path, LOL. I am going to have PTSD by the time I get my kids graduate from the public school system.
But lets move on. I actually had a conversation this week with a lovely woman who is in a position to make a difference in the life of another. But I can tell you now; she wont. Not because she doesnt care or she isnt concerned, but because it isnt enough to MOVE her. There are some like that. Lets always be moved to help our clients.
I just want to say that in the field of social work, or any field that involves working with other humans, we are going to come across stupid people ( I use that term loosely - rude, lazy, ignorant could all fit the bill). It will take effort to MOVE. My greatest weakness and greatest strength is one in the same. I am either hot or cold. I either am not concerned or I am intensely passionate on an issue. I am learning that lukewarm works well in some situations.
For those of you who have actually read this blog in its entirety - Thanks!! But I do have another question that I would love to have your feedback on.
"Do you think that a social worker can be accepting of a belief(s) professionally and that believe be something they disagree with on a personal level? Are they one in the same or can they be kept seperate. Let me know your thoughts."
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